"I don't do something great every day. I'm human," the newest 2016 presidential hopeful, Chris Christie, said to an enthusiastic high school gymnasium Tuesday, June 30. Because what better qualifies someone to lead the nation than admitting they don't do great things?
Christie, whose reputation suffered under Bridgegate 2013 (although, oddly, his mafia ties haven't seemed to hurt him because, well, New Jersey), affirmed his presidential ambitions at Livingston High School, where he spent three of his four years as class president.
Christie brags he "brought unprecedented conservative reform to one of the bluest states In America" and promises to make the United States unapologetically, uh, less blue. To do that, he'll restore defense spending to George W. Bush levels (because why not?), toughen surveillance laws to gather more information on suspected terrorists (no way that could go wrong), and lower corporate tax rates (hey, corporations are people, too!). He also vows to take Social Security benefits away from those "fortunate enough not to need it" (although they'll still pay into the system).
On his website, Christie talks about running the country like his mother lived her life: Nothing held back and everything said. "No deathbed confessions in this family," she said. While some may understand the attractiveness of a Yell-first-ask-questions-later-and-consequences-be-damned approach to life, others may wonder if running the United States in this fashion could negatively impact foreign policy, trade relations, or the future of the nation.
Time will tell if Christie's form of government will appeal to the masses, because it's a long road to the presidential primary. This should be fun to watch in the interim, because with so many Republicans crammed into what blogger and Facebook presence Jim Wright called a "clown car," one has to wonder: How much farther can the once-great party of Lincoln, Grant and Eisenhower fall?